I enjoyed my interview question from Foilwoman so much, I requested an interview from her very best friend in the whole wide world, Innana.

1. What are five practical things every human being should know how to do before she or he reach 18, and did you know them then?

This is such an excellent question:

1) First and foremost, you're potential is unlimited. You can do/be anything you want. Take risks. The one thing you want to do, but don't think you have the ability to do, is the one thing you need to do.

2) It all works out in the end. You may be scared to death about what happens next, but in the end, it will work out. Just be patient.

3) Network. Knowing people makes the world go 'round.

4) Love people for who they are, not for what you want them to become. We all make mistakes. We are all driven by our perspective of the world, which is usually vastly different from our own. Embrace that difference and learn from it.

5) Stick up for yourself. The regret of not doing so will hurt much more than any repercussion of defending yourself.

I didn't know any of these things. If I had, I would be very different. Some of them I 'm still learning.

2. If there were a soundtrack to your life, what composer/musician would write it (dead or living)?

Aaron Lewis from Staind.

3. How did you meet your wife, and how long did it take before you knew she was "the one"?

We were set up on a blind date in college in 1994. We went on 2 dates after that. The last date, while she was talking, I leaned in to kiss her. Bad timing all the way around. Just no sparks. So we became really good friends. We had many classes together. We went on double dates. I got married to an evil woman and she was in the second row at my wedding. We lost touch after that, because the evil ex-wife was jealous of our friendship (RED FLAG).

After about 2 years we ran into each at a place she worked. We hung out whenever I was in town. Still friends, but there was this part in both of us that was curious (I didn't know this until later). In September 2000, we were both single for the first time in a while and went on a trip together, with some other friend, to Hawaii. We were together the whole time, snuggled in the double bed we slept in. Never kissed, but it felt like something had changed. When we got back I was concerned that "what happened in Hawaii would stay in Hawaii." I called her to tell her I had gotten the pictures developed. The first thing she said was, "You asshole!!! I can't stop thinking about you!" I went to her apartment and we went out that night. It was the first time I had kissed her since 1994... and it was weird! I would open my eyes and... hey... you're my "friend" Renee... I'm not supposed to be kissing you. I got used to it pretty quick.

We dated for a year, before I asked her to marry me. There wasn't any specific time that I said, "this is the one!" It just kind of transitioned into that kind of relationship. I wrote a poem that ended with "will you marry me" and had it printed on a picture of us. I had it framed and took it to a park where we were going to have a picnic. I told her I had a poem I wrote for her and that I wanted to read it. I did and her response was, "uh, yeah..."

4. What Christmas present from your childhood do you remember the best, and why?

The Planet of the Apes Tree House for some reason has always stuck in my head. I don't know why, I just remember it well.

5. You can read one person's thoughts for 24 hours. Who would it be?

My wife, Renee.

Great questions!!!

Rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me please'
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here on my blog (not the same questions you see here)
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

Innana requested an interview. So here they are:
1. What book had the most influence on you and your interpretation of the meaning of life?
2. What is the one piece of information you would give a teenager regarding their future?
3. How do you view Foilwoman's "Handyman" experience and, if in a similar situation, would you do the same?
4. If you owned your own business, what kind of qualities would you look for in a potential manager for your employees?
5. Have you ever been in a physical fight, and what was the outcome?

Enjoy... I'm eager to read your responses.

Rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me please'
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here on my blog (not the same questions you see here)
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

I submitted a request to Foilwoman for interview questions. I was delighted and honored to see these questions posted on her blog. There are also rules that I have to follow:

1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me please.'
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here on my blog (not the same questions you see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are her question and my answers:

(1) How many children are you planning to have (or, more realistically, would you like to have)? Does Renee know?

I love children. When the idea of children came to mind, I used to say that I wanted 6 kids. While Renee and I were dating we discussed the topic of children. When I told her about my desires for a big family she just stared at me like I was crazy. I quickly came to the conclusion that although I may want a huge family, Renee had total and complete veto power. So I resigned myself to the fact that we would have 2-3 kids.

Now that we have a wonderful, beautiful baby boy and Renee loved being pregnant, she would like to have 6 children (if we could afford it and she could stay home with them). Unfortunately, I can't imagine having 6 children and have changed my mind to having a maximum of 3. I think that is more realistic and affordable. And yes... Renee knows.

(2) How did you choose the name Dane? Being half-Danish, I approve. But I want to hear the reasons.

This will sound so lame. There is a player on the St. Louis Rams named Dane Looker. When I heard that name, I liked and mentioned it to Renee. She liked it too. We had other names picked out, 2 boy names (Gavin and Dane) and 2 girl names (Marley and Kendal) (we didn't find out Dane's sex until the day he came out [I knew... can't explain how, but I knew]). Dane seemed to fit him perfectly.

(3) Your bio says you are a counselor. What sort of counselor, and how did you choose this career.

I'm a mental health counselor. I've worked as a team supervisor for adult services. I've worked as a director for an agency's crisis program. And now I'm working as a team supervisor for children's services. I prefer working with kids. Always have.

I chose counseling because I was good at it. I like the mystery of figuring people out and I can read people pretty well. It seems like a lot of people in my profession went into it to figure out themselves and they make horrible counselors. These folks usually think they know more about you than you do and often want to change you based on their screwed up past. ANYWAY... I enjoy helping people as long as they want to help themselves.

(4) Other than Dane, what's the best thing you've ever accomplished?

I was in the 82nd Airborne for 3 years as a medic (spending time in the middle east, but not during wartime). I completed graduate school with a 4.0 GPA. And I can bench press 315 lbs.

(5) What action that you have taken would you most like to undo?

I was jumped by two guys about 10 years ago. The first was trying to start a fight with me. The reason was ridiculous and I said, "You want fight because of THAT?!" I laughed and turned toward my car. I had two people with me, my girlfriend (at the time) and a guy I played volleyball with. It seemed so ludicrous, I didn't think anything of it (I was bigger than the guy... what was he going to do?).

I came to, trying to push myself up from the ground. My arms feeling like rubberbands, I heard my girlfriend say, "just stay down." Apparently, the one guy sucker punched me, while his buddy pushed me. The result was my head bouncing off of the pavement, splitting it open at my forehead and hairline. I also received a wonderful concussion (if you haven't experienced this... stand in place and spin around 20 times... the result is what you feel like all the time).

So what would I undo? 1) I would never have turned my back on him or his buddy. 2) If I would have known what was going to happened because I walked away, I would have beat the fuck out of him!!

As the rules dictate, here is the open invitation for interviews. Request away...

Thanks Foilwoman!

Here is my boy walking with a little assistance. He is absolutely the best!

Last week, my father informed me that on July 10th, he had a "minor" heart attack. He said that he had been brushhogging (i.e. cutting grass with tractor sized mower [in case you don't know what that is]) and felt a little short of breath. He stopped, went into the house to get some air and relax for a while. The pain started at 11am... He didn't leave for the hospital until 3pm (denial is the #1 symptom of a heart attack). After three days and many tests later, he was sent home with an appointment to go back to the hospital in August for triple by-pass surgery. Three clogged arteries in my father's heart and they send him home for 3 weeks before the operation (and no medications). Can you believe it?

I may be blogging more about this... or not. I just don't know what to think about it.

Daddy's dessert:
1 Hersey S'more Bar
1 Package of Swiss Cake Rolls
Bunny Tracks Ice Cream (Blue Bunny Ice Cream)
Hot Fudge
Reese's Hardshell Topping
Chocolate Syrup

Directions: Place s'more bar in bowl and microwave for 10 second. Add 2 swiss cake rolls to either side of s'more bar. Scoop in ice cream covering swiss cake rolls and s'more bar. Pour Reese's Hardshell over ice cream. Add hot fudge and chocolate syrup.

Warning: Without hot fudge and chocolate syrup, dessert may be bland in taste.

...my son says, "DaDa." I know it's more like, "didada," but it's close enough for me! He's been saying, "dadadada" more and more. Does he know it means me? Probably not... But I love hearing him say it!

A special thanks to Sandra (who isn't so evil) for giving me the html code, making it possible for you to hear it on my blog.

Thank you all so much for the comments and suggestions. I think I received one that covered every angle. It has been very helpful and given me a sense of validity in the matter.

And now... the rest of the story.

Renee went to the babysitter's house yesterday (it was better that I didn't go with her... I was afraid of what I might say). She asked if the babysitter was doing okay about the surgery. The babysitter said she was fine and not concerned at all. Renee tried to be very concerned and matter of fact, but in the end she broke down. The babysitter kept asking what's wrong. Renee told her that she was very concerned about Dane and that the babysitter wasn't taking care of him. The babysitter said, "tell me your concerns, you have every right to tell me what I am doing wrong." So Renee unloaded on her about what has happened. The babysitter listened without interruption or defensiveness. At the end, she said, "you're right, there is no excuse for this happening." She told Renee that she would make sure that she stayed on top of it. She apologized very sincerely.

The babysitter said, "if you ever have a concern, if you ever want an answer or if you ever want me to do something different, please tell me. He is your baby and your life, and I will do whatever you request." Renee said that she felt that much better afterwards.

We are still looking into alternatives. I feel better about things now, but I'm going to have a plan B, if I have to pull him in one day.

Again... thank you all so much for caring consideration.

I'm crazy! I'm upset! I'm pissed! That said, this post will sound pretty harsh, but the events are probably not as bad as I am going to make them sound. I would very much appreciate any comments, considerations and criticisms. So keep that in mind while you read my rant.


In the past, when I've picked up Dane, he's had a full diaper. When I get home, the first thing I do is change him. I've found, not all the time, that it looks like it's been there a while (i.e. drying poop that is stuck to his butt). Now, Dane is a happy baby. He doesn't cry when he has a dirty diaper. And his poop doesn't stink (literally or figuratively). So the cues that most infants display to their daycare provider, are not salient. At home, we check him frequently.

Monday, I dropped Dane off at 8:00am. At 2:00pm, Renee arrives to pick him up (The babysitter is playing with him on her lap, he is laughing and having fun). Dane has a full diaper (urine and feces) AND it's the same diaper he had on when he left our house (how do we know, you ask? The babysitter has the last of his size 2s, we only use size 3s at home. When Renee picked him up he still had on a size 3!). Renee confronted the babysitter about it. She apologized profusely, indicating that it would never happen again, and per Renee's instruction, she would check him hourly. Her only excuse was that she didn't think to check because he wasn't fussy (my thought is: WTF, do you honestly think that an infant isn't going to drop a load all freakin' day?!).

Sidenote #1: Did I mention that Dane had a wicked case of diaper rash last weekend? It was bad enough that when Renee put some cream on him, he shrieked in pain! She scooped him up and put him in the sink to cool the area and wash off the cream. We've been doing everything we can to dry him out. It's much better now. I am not sure if it is related to the babysitters lack of promptness when it comes to changing diapers, but I think it can, in the least, be correlated.

Sidenote #2: I also need to mention that the babysitter, over the last 3 weeks, had a blood test come back positive for ovarian cancer. She has informed us that her doctor thinks it is a false positive, but she is still going to have surgery to scrape or remove or whatever, the ovaries. This will occur within a week. Her daughter (who babysits for us on some weekends, and just adores Dane) is coming to our house to watch Dane during the surgery. So, I understand that her mind is a little preoccupied, but I do not except it as an excuse. If you can't manage taking care of my child during this time, then let us know (although she probably wouldn't do that, as they don't make very much money), we can find a temporary (or permanent) solution. My child comes first. Period. If he doesn't then I will find a place where he does come first!

Wednesday, Renee dropped off Dane at 11:30am. At 2:30pm, she picked him up. The babysitter's daughter was there watching the kids, because the babysitter had some additional tests that needed to be run before the surgery. The babysitter's daughter was holding Dane and playing with him. He was happy and having a great time. When Renee picked him up she noticed his diaper was full and again it was a size 3! She asked the daughter why he hadn't been changed and she said, "I don't know, I just got here from practice and my Mom left for the doctor's appointment." Furious, Renee called me and we started looking for alternatives.

Sidenote #3: This babysitter has an excellent reputation in our community and has received awards for being such an outstanding daycare provider. We researched her and spoke with other parents who have their children there. The only negative thing we heard was that she leaves the TV on all the time, for the kids to watch. They don't have to watch it and there are plenty of toys and interaction, but the TV is a mind numbing force to be reckoned with, it just draws those little toddlers in. Dane hates TV. You can sit him in front of one and he crawls away, looking for real activity. So the TV isn't a bad thing... yet. We have already discussed that once he is a little older (within a year) we are going to send him to a more education oriented place.

Renee and I talked last night. I started getting more worked up. And I am now to the point where I want to get the city involved, mail letters to the other parents about my concerns and cuss her out for not doing everything she can to make my baby boy's time on this earth the most pleasant experience possible! [deep breathing... relaxing... going to my happy place with Dane]

Okay, I know that is extreme. I know that we need to sit down and talk to her about our concerns. But two things are eating at me:
1) Talking to her could create a hostile environment for Dane. I certainly don't think there would be a retaliation directly on Dane, but passive aggression can be as bad as directly neglecting his needs.
2) Where do you draw the line? For me it's right now, but I am completely incensed about it. What do we do if it happens again? Do I trust her with any information she gives me now? Is she even watching him? Is she turning duties over to her daughter? Is there enough supervision to ensure the safety of my child from the other children, considering she can't remember to change a freakin' diaper on an infant? If she is cutting corners on that, where else is she doing it? Is there anything else that we aren't being privy to? Now, when there is any different behavior from Dane, I'm going to be thinking, "Did she drop him on his head? Did some other child in her home abuse him?" I could drive myself crazy with my hand-wringing.

I have to add that as far we know, Dane loves it there. He smiles and reaches for the babysitter when we drop him off (he hates it when we leave... although it's not as bad now). I hate to put him with completely different people, when he is so used to the babysitter and her family. So I am really torn about what to do.

Foilwoman wrote:

"Oh, and more pictures of Dane, please. Maybe something of him destroying theliving room, Godzilla like, as he takes over the world now that he is mobile?"

So, per her request:

I was perusing Kira's Blog today and read through her rant regarding nudity. Now, I have no problem with nudity. Seeing an attractive woman, or even a plain woman, naked does not necessarily roust my nether regions (I've gone to strip clubs without getting a chubby). So the problem isn't thinking about sex when I see a naked woman, it's about thinking she should be covered up. Go to any nude beach and you will see more people there that should be clothed, than people who have attractive bodies. So if you think going to a nude mall, beach, club, pool, etc. will be like watching skinemax after-dark, you will be greatly disappointed.

So it is with breastfeeding. When a woman "whips out her BREAST" to feed her baby, the horror isn't that I'm all hot for lactatin' momma, it's that I do not wish to see momma lactating (I do realize that Kira's situation was in a hospital, which to me, is a much more acceptable circumstance... I'm talking specifically about women flopping it out in public with no cover or worse... while you are having a conversation with them). I do not wish to see nature in action (I think there would be a lot of people upset if I took a great big shit in the middle of the street... talk about nature in action... everyone shits... why would anyone be alarmed at the movement of my bowels?). I'm going to make huge sweeping generalization here: I don't think that any man wants to see a woman nursing an infant, unless it is his wife and child, or has some professional reason to see it. It is the most beautiful, wondrous process when my wife uses her breasts to sustain the life of my son. It does not have the same effect if I see any other woman doing it.

And I don't like the idea of a child running around the house naked while there are guests in the home. I don't think it is proper or appropriate with guests, but it has nothing to do with nudity, it has to do with discipline. You don't have to scold a child and make him feel like a bad boy for doing it, but you do have to explain that there are times when that behavior is okay, and times when it is not. It starts that early in a child's life. The career I am in, makes it very obvious that children need guidance and that a lack of it can produce disastrous results.

I also understand that a naked boy in the house is not going to be the end of the world and that sometimes you have to choose your battles. So maybe I'll be eating my words in a couple of years.

So keep your kids clothes on, your lactating breasts covered and, unless you're really hot, your body covered.

I really do try to post as often as I can. I get so into commenting on everyone else's blog that I forget to do my own. Maybe I should put my comments on my blog.

At this point, I really have nothing to discuss. Well, at least nothing that I haven't already read somewhere else (and commented). My life seems to be going pretty smoothly. Dane continues to be the best boy ever. Renee gets the patience-of-a-saint award, for dealing with me in the morning. Our house plans are still being drawn up. We have our lot. What could be better?

That makes me think of something...

In my little survey, WordWhiz answered the question, "What was your first impression?" with, "That you were someone of integrity." Foilwoman answered, "Describe me in one word" with, "Generous or Kind-hearted or Sweet." Their responses made me feel really good. However, I knew that integrity probably isn't always the best word used to describe me. I knew that it seems there are more times that I'm not generous, kind-hearted or sweet. Sometimes (I'm sure Renee would agree), the best words for me are: grumpy, mean, negative, irritable, angry, bitter, etc. After that you may want to use words like: blaming, guilty, finger-pointing, etc.

I wish I could be Galahad, the pure-hearted. I wish I could always be "Sir Andy." I have great ideals, but sometimes I'm too busy being selfish follow them. I think so old school music really sums up what I can be about sometimes. The song is called Music and Politics by the Disposable Heros of Hiphoprisy. The lyric I like is:

If ever I would stop thinking about music and politics
I would tell you thatI pooped in my own dog dish
And sometimes I would rather face not eating
than face licking it clean
And admitting when I’m selfish
And I’d
tell you that I’m suffering from the worst type of loneliness
The loneliness
of being misunderstood, or more poignantly
the loneliness of being afraid
to allow myself to be understood

So what do you do when you're a prick? I don't want to raise my boy to be like that. I don't think I am, but as SwimmingSideways said, your child is always watching and is setting their sights to be in line with what they see. I don't want to be mean to Renee when I am tired. I don't want Dane to think it's okay to be that way. Some days, it's hard to keep it in check (sorry about this morning, Honey... oh... and last night too).

So give me your best shot... what do you think?

Don't we look great?!

Foilwoman made me do this... in her subtle way. Give it a shot. I would like to know who you are... all of you!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?