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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

 

At Some Point You Just Stop Looking

It has never been my intent to allow such a huge lag time between posts. There have been several times that I wanted to write up some of the events going on in my life. But you know what? I haven't had the energy to do something as simple as push buttons on a keyboard. When the thought of posting came to mind, it sure seemed easier to watch TV or just lay down and go to sleep. The past couple of months have been a series of emotional highs and lows. My tolerance for frustration, lack of follow-through and poor response or service from professionals I am paying, has ceased to exist. Quite honestly, there have been times that, had I been given the opportunity, would have given up. These experiences have effected all aspects of my life, from work to home and all the blurry lines in between.

Of course, there is also the inescapable thought that rolls through my head that says, "Wow, when did you become such a whiney little bitch! Anyone would love to have the problems you have." Having the opportunity to build a house? Qualifying for and getting a loan to build that house? Having a job that not only provides great insurance, but pays more than I have ever made in my life? Being able to exercise/run? Having my health? Having a wonderful boy? Having a loving wife pregnant with my second child? Wouldn't most people think that I am living the American dream?

So, yes, I am still trying to make sense of it all. I'm working on it though. Maybe even making some head way. By the end of the process, I might have actually grown a little wiser and hopefully a little more patient with life.

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