That's the name of the procedure that I will be undergoing in a couple of weeks. But let me back up and tell you how we got there.

Let's start at 8:30am. I was very early to my Orthopedic appointment, but the good Doctor brought me in anyway. He looked at my MRI, took some notes about what happened and basically told me that there was no reason I should be trying to lift that much weight. "You're too small to be lifting that much weight," he remarked. I wanted to say, "Too small? That's why I'm trying to lift that much weight... so I won't be too small." However, I held my tongue because he's right. What the hell is a 37 year old man doing trying to get bigger and lift more weight than his old joints can bare? It's my idea of what my body should look like that needs to change, not my body. And here I've damaged it pretty good. Well, I guess I've forced myself into a change now, huh?

Um... sorry I got off track... So the doctor tells me that he doesn't do arthroscopic surgery and he really doesn't want to make incision through my tattoos (he actually recognized the Northwest Coast Art). He informs me he's going to refer me to someone who is an expert in arthroscopic surgery. After 30 minutes of phone calls (can you believe the amount of work a doctor put into that?), he tells me to get downtown as soon as I can. This new Orthopedic Surgeon is going to see when I get there, because he deemed this an "acute" case. Otherwise, I would not have been seen until November.

I make my way downtown, fill out the paperwork and wait. He receptionist calls on me after an hour and asks me to go across the hall for x-rays. After that, I wait again. At noon, they call me in. The doctor is very nice and even has good social skills. However, he sucks at explaining, to a person who has never had surgery, what exactly he is going to do and why. So as I ask questions about the "biceps tenodesis" and get the response of, "just believe me it's better that we do it this way," I can't help but feel scared. Luckily, the nurse came in to schedule the surgery and explained to me what was going to happen.

So what does it mean for me? Six weeks of my arm in a sling. No working out and even after that, no heavy lifting. Probably pain, but I can handle it. The part that worries me: not being able to sleep because I can't get my shoulder in a comfortable position. Well, that and the other stuff like, possible nerve damage or any other number of bad things that can happen to you in surgery. I won't be able to lift my son and hold him without hurting for a while. I'm just overall scared that I'll be worse after the surgery.