Monday, May 30, 2005
As insignificant as clipping fingernails
I think it's pretty close to impossible to explain how a father loves their child. If you have a child then you probably understand (although that's questionable with some people). For those who don't have children, the idea of a child is impossible to fathom. Even a woman pregnant with her first child, still has no idea what is in store.
It's kind of funny how some people tried to explain to me, the idea of life with a child. Renee and I kept getting these horrible stories told to us about how it would be. "You'll never get any sleep again." "You'll never get to go do the things you want to do." "Life will never be the same for you." All these stories made us wonder why people would ever want to have more than one child, since it's so demanding.
After having a child, I have to say that all of these horror stories are true. You do lose out on sleep. Your life is forever changed. Renee and I can't go out on the town, get irresponsibly drunk. Dane still wakes up at 6:30am, not caring if Mommy and Daddy have a hang over. Yes, all those things are true. I get where they are coming from. BUT, they left out something huge! They left out the absolute total love you feel for your child.
This is the one thing you can't explain to someone without a child. You can add that in (and maybe they did), but all the expecting Mommies and Daddies will hear are the parts about leaving behind their old lives. It's the only thing they can identify with. The love for a child is way too abstract and so foreign for someone who hasn't experienced it.
Last night, just about every 2 hours, I heard Dane stir. He hasn't been feeling good. Teething takes it out of a baby, although most of the time you would never know with Dane. But at night, it's hard for him to get comfortable and the amount of drool (he got that trait from his Daddy for sure) he leaves on his bed, slowly wakes him from a blissful sleep. So when I heard him waking up, I got up (I didn't want Renee to wake up, because she had to get up early), went into his room and ever so gently picked him up and moved him around his crib. He zonked right back out once he was in a dry spot.
This morning Renee went to work at 7:15am (sucks to be her, huh). At 6:30am (or so), she brought a sleepy Dane into our bed after she feed him, so she could shower and get ready. I rolled over and watched him sleep for a little bit while Renee was in the shower. I love watching him sleep. He's so peaceful and relaxed. The love I feel for him is just overwhelming.
The point of all this (sorry if I lost you... sometimes I lose myself) is that there are things you lose when you have a child in your life. Anyone can see that. But once you have a child, those things seem microscopically insignificant when compared to what out get out of it. When you clip a fingernail, you lose a piece of you, but doesn't that seem pretty small compared to the rest of your life?
It's kind of funny how some people tried to explain to me, the idea of life with a child. Renee and I kept getting these horrible stories told to us about how it would be. "You'll never get any sleep again." "You'll never get to go do the things you want to do." "Life will never be the same for you." All these stories made us wonder why people would ever want to have more than one child, since it's so demanding.
After having a child, I have to say that all of these horror stories are true. You do lose out on sleep. Your life is forever changed. Renee and I can't go out on the town, get irresponsibly drunk. Dane still wakes up at 6:30am, not caring if Mommy and Daddy have a hang over. Yes, all those things are true. I get where they are coming from. BUT, they left out something huge! They left out the absolute total love you feel for your child.
This is the one thing you can't explain to someone without a child. You can add that in (and maybe they did), but all the expecting Mommies and Daddies will hear are the parts about leaving behind their old lives. It's the only thing they can identify with. The love for a child is way too abstract and so foreign for someone who hasn't experienced it.
Last night, just about every 2 hours, I heard Dane stir. He hasn't been feeling good. Teething takes it out of a baby, although most of the time you would never know with Dane. But at night, it's hard for him to get comfortable and the amount of drool (he got that trait from his Daddy for sure) he leaves on his bed, slowly wakes him from a blissful sleep. So when I heard him waking up, I got up (I didn't want Renee to wake up, because she had to get up early), went into his room and ever so gently picked him up and moved him around his crib. He zonked right back out once he was in a dry spot.
This morning Renee went to work at 7:15am (sucks to be her, huh). At 6:30am (or so), she brought a sleepy Dane into our bed after she feed him, so she could shower and get ready. I rolled over and watched him sleep for a little bit while Renee was in the shower. I love watching him sleep. He's so peaceful and relaxed. The love I feel for him is just overwhelming.
The point of all this (sorry if I lost you... sometimes I lose myself) is that there are things you lose when you have a child in your life. Anyone can see that. But once you have a child, those things seem microscopically insignificant when compared to what out get out of it. When you clip a fingernail, you lose a piece of you, but doesn't that seem pretty small compared to the rest of your life?
# Proud Daddy Posting @ 8:59 AM 
Comments:
<< Home
Well, I remember thinking, after I had my first child, how amazingly wonderful she was. No other child was her peer. She is startlingly beautiful and slept through the night at three weeks (a co-worker's comment: "You so don't deserve that"). I would look at other, less perfect children and wonder how their parents managed. Amazingly, my second child is equally amazing (and my firstborn, is of course, gifted, lovely, a true joy). At a certain point, I've acknowledged that while the universe does indeed have two centers (my girls), some of my perspective may be influenced by maternal instincts. Everyone always says "parenthood changes your life". What they don't say is how much of a blast it is, even on the bad days.
Post a Comment
<< Home
